Last year, I thought I have done the most stupid mistake of being in a commitment in a rush... I planned on using a person to forget someone... I thought I could learn to love him and unlove the person who broke my heart... but then I was wrong.
It's just a typical love story. We have known each other for ages now, but never really liked each other. There's this link that connects us. We live in the same place but grew separately; I, in the urbans and him, in the rurals. Things were running smoothly for me...boring actually. I was succumbed in the idea of reaching for my goals. Studies, exams, family, friends...there was no room for personal life back then. All I ever knew was for me to be the strongest and firmest woman my family could have. I could not afford to be the weakling, to be the fragile little girl everyone thinks.
Sometimes, it really pisses me off when I can't handle a situation. And because of this, my dark side would just come out and turn everything into chaos. Traces of red spots would be seen on the floor and on the covers, walls with red tinged mark, and everything so nefarious...And then he came.
The feeling was so captivating that I didn't even bother to stop and think for a while. I was so sure of him that I didn't think about what others might think. Everything's so confusing, but one thing is clear... I love him. It was not easy to be with him, because every one is against us. And with all these hassles, having different priorities complicates things even more. But I held on and patiently waited for the time that we could face things together. I tried to understand, I tried to be always on his back to support him. I did everything I could to hold on. But my hands got tired... and so did my heart. Then, that one thing that kept me holding on for so long is starting to fade. I don't know what went wrong, or what made us drift apart...
Then someone came and made me forget the confusions and doubts. Everyone thought of him as "my good aura". Every time he's around, I feel light and nice. And I thought I could "use" him to forget my past...I tried to befriend him and to get close with him. I thought I could learn to unlove someone by loving another. But I was so damn wrong! I felt so stupid being in a relationship I didn't even wanted from the start. And so before the feelings get too deep for him, I broke up without any clear reason why.
After all the mess, after all the wrong moves... I tried to clear my head, and realized I still and really am in love with the one I loved from the start. We straightened things out, and we got back together.
For months I've been feeling guilty because of my stupid move to use someone. Guilty of being unfair and being so inconsiderate. But then again, the tables turned... guess what... the one I "used" was already married before we even met. And the hardest part to accept is that, the girl was already pregnant the time we were together.
Lucky for me?
Or is it just what they call KARMA?!
Then someone came and made me forget the confusions and doubts. Everyone thought of him as "my good aura". Every time he's around, I feel light and nice. And I thought I could "use" him to forget my past...I tried to befriend him and to get close with him. I thought I could learn to unlove someone by loving another. But I was so damn wrong! I felt so stupid being in a relationship I didn't even wanted from the start. And so before the feelings get too deep for him, I broke up without any clear reason why.
After all the mess, after all the wrong moves... I tried to clear my head, and realized I still and really am in love with the one I loved from the start. We straightened things out, and we got back together.
For months I've been feeling guilty because of my stupid move to use someone. Guilty of being unfair and being so inconsiderate. But then again, the tables turned... guess what... the one I "used" was already married before we even met. And the hardest part to accept is that, the girl was already pregnant the time we were together.
Lucky for me?
Or is it just what they call KARMA?!
